Thought you might like these ;-)
Felt like putting this on to celebrate getting through my first teaching lesson. The students were good with me, they didn't even throw paper balls at me or put the rubbish bin on my head! ;-)
I got told off instead by the teacher observing me, I shouldn't have stuck blue tack to the walls, well atleast I didn't use chewing gum.
Typoglycemia
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a
wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be
in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed
it wouthit a porbelm. ! Tihs is bcuseae the hamun mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh, and
I awlyas tohguht slpeling was ipmorantt.
Hope I don't case offence with this one.
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don’t gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.
10) We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me".
12) The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry.
13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A- Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter’s not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.
Have a good weekend
In Rememberance of 11/11
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4 comments:
That's a good one about the priest there. Congrats on the first lesson done. Have a swell weekend.
Have a fab weekend honey bunny, sorry you got nabbed by the blu-tac police.
I've seen something similar to this before. It was a study on how the brain translates information. If I'm remembering correclty, the translation portion happens in a different lobe of the brain. I may be wrong, but, it's very interesting. Now I'm ready to research it.
Laod of blokcols auobt teh biarn rdaenig wrds; it can wrok out oedrr elneutalvy but it is a pian in the asre to do so.
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