Random News

Will Hill Run? 

ALBANY, NY (LaughFish.com) -Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) made the rounds on the Sunday morning talk shows to voice her anger over the recent terrorist attacks in London.  When she was asked if she would lead the world differently in the charge against extremism she declined comment.  “I am not going speculate on the future,” she said.  “Bill and I are enjoying our private life right now.  He just got a new dog.  He loves that dog.”

-Ah bless Clint and his pooch! Nothing can get between a man and his dog.

Celebrity
Is Brittney Carrying Twins?

MALIBU, CA (LaughFish.com) -

Speculation abounds as to whether or not pop sensation Brittney Spears is having twins.

To get to the truth, curiosity seekers went to an expert on all things gynecological, Tom Cruise.  Actor and OB/GYN Dr. Cruise said, “I don’t know if she’s carrying twins or not, but I will say that she is obviously carrying two of something.  Those are amazing.” 

Cheeky ;-) well if you've got it, flaunt it!

Politics


Cheney Checks In For 3000 Mile Check-up

WASHINGTON D.C. (LaughFish.com) -Mechanics at an undisclosed suburban Jiffy Lube gave Vice-president Dick Cheney a clean bill of health on Friday. Assistant Manager Jesse Garcia said, “Dick’s fluid was low and we replaced a fuse, but other than that he was in good shape.”  Cheney has had four heart attacks and also had a pacemaker placed in his chest in 2001.  Garcia recommended that the Vice-president get a complete flush in September and also stop the jack-rabbit invasions.

-Next they'll be giving him a kick-start

Today's Poem

I live in the suburbs
A place where there are no vandals…
I’m going to mow my lawn
After I put on my black socks and sandals…

- Does this place really exist?? socks n sandals- nice ;-)


   
Historic Landmarks
Mt. Rushmore Has Zits

SOUTH DAKOTA (LaughFish.com) - For the first time in Mt. Rushmore's 65 year history, the four Presidents: Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt, and Lincoln, are getting their faces cleaned of dirt and lichens. According to Vanessa Williams, spokeswoman for Proactive Solutions, "When I saw the bumpy redness on Jefferson's face I had to do something.  I know how embarrassing it is to have acne, so I called the South Dakota National Park Service."  According to Ms. Williams, the Presidents are being cleaned in three steps.  First a renewing cleanser followed by a revitalizing toner and last, but not least, a repairing lotion. Other Presidential Revitalizers

The world's gone mad. but I expect Nelson's column can do with a spring clean too!


have fun out there