Thursday, October 20, 2005

Cops n Robbers

You Might Be a Cop if...

* people shout, "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a room.
* your idea of a good time is an armed robbery at shift change.
* you disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see.
* you believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.
* you believe prozac should be added regularly to the water system.
* when you mention vegetables, you're not referring to the food group.
* you want to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide - getting it right the first time."
* you call for a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly toward you.
* you believe anyone who says, "I only had two beers" is going to blow over 150.
* you walk into places and people think it's high comedy to seize a co-worker and shout, "They've come to get you...".

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How cops do it...

Cops do it by the book.
Cops do it with handcuffs.
Detectives do it under cover.
Policemen do it without a break for 12 hours.

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How many cops does it take to change light bulb?
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
Only one, but he has to see an officer do it first.
Three, one to do it, one to direct traffic and one to say "Show's over, nothing left to see here, folks, move along."

How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb?
Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters.

talking of Law and Order

We watched Lord of War last night. I enjoyed it for what it was. Nick Cage who tends to be good in most films, I think carried this one. Playing a war lord in Africa, hanging out with the really bad boys of bling, lying to his beautiful wife, having a brother messed up by coke and being chased by a weakly played Ethan Hawke. (who I wouldn't have been bothered by) I like action and I can watch violence in a film recently saw (History of Violence) but I came out feeling, the next film I see needs to be a happier or comic one like good ole Wallace and Gromitt. or the lord of the Rings. Bring on the cheese! Out with the oooozzie 9mm's.

1 comment:

tornwordo said...

I'll be skipping that one. THanks for the heads up.